Church Chuckles

Amusing jokes and stories

Anything Breakable In Here?

There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to her brother in another part of the country.

"Is there anything breakable in here?" asked the postal clerk.

"Only the Ten Commandments," answered the lady.

Saying Grace

The young minister sitting down to dinner was asked by his equally-young wife to say grace. He opened the casserole dish which she had diligently prepared from a new French recipe book and an uncounted number of disguised leftovers from the refrigerator.

"Well, I don't know," he said dubiously, not being a casserole man himself. "It seems to me I've blessed all this stuff before."

Remembering Names

When I was introduced to a couple visiting our congregation, I decided to remember their names by noting they were the same as those of two characters in a popular children's story.

After the service I stopped to talk to them, and as they were saying goodbye I teased, "Be careful going up that hill!  Ah, but you must get that all the time."

Caught Off Guard!

Pastor Aubrey was walking down Somerset Avenue when he noticed Larry, a little neighbor boy, trying to press the doorbell of a house across the street.  However, Larry was small and the doorbell was too high for him to reach.

Following the Master

Following the Master

One summer Sunday morning I sat with the other members of the church choir behind the minister's pulpit. My five-year-old son, Chuckie, sat beside me.

They Died In The Service

One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Johnny was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. The seven-year-old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the boy, and said quietly, "Good morning son."

"Good morning pastor" replied the young man, focused on the plaque.

What Would You Be If Not A Baptist?


Three ministers were sitting in a retirement home discussing religion; a Baptist, a Methodist and a Presbyterian.

They started talking about religious groups other than their own that they admired the most.

Moses, Joshua, and the Burglar

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables; and when he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, "Joshua is watching you."

The Atheist and the Believer

There's a little old Christian lady living next door to an atheist. Every morning the lady comes out onto her front porch and shouts "Praise the Lord!".

The atheist yells back, "There is no God".

I Would Have Enjoyed That A Lot More Had I'd Known I Was Going To Live Through It

Christian comedian, songwriter, and singer, Mark Lowry, tells of living through a tornado while on a houseboat and sings Home Where I Belong.

 

 

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