Church Chuckles

Amusing jokes and stories

Following the Master

Submitted by rwharper on Tue, 03/31/2015 - 10:20pm

Following the Master

One summer Sunday morning I sat with the other members of the church choir behind the minister's pulpit. My five-year-old son, Chuckie, sat beside me.

They Died In The Service

Submitted by rwharper on Sat, 06/21/2014 - 12:54am

One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Johnny was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. The seven-year-old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the boy, and said quietly, "Good morning son."

"Good morning pastor" replied the young man, focused on the plaque.

What Would You Be If Not A Baptist?

Submitted by rwharper on Thu, 05/08/2014 - 12:22am


Three ministers were sitting in a retirement home discussing religion; a Baptist, a Methodist and a Presbyterian.

They started talking about religious groups other than their own that they admired the most.

Moses, Joshua, and the Burglar

Submitted by rwharper on Fri, 03/21/2014 - 3:45am

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables; and when he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, "Joshua is watching you."

The Atheist and the Believer

Submitted by rwharper on Wed, 03/05/2014 - 12:52am

There's a little old Christian lady living next door to an atheist. Every morning the lady comes out onto her front porch and shouts "Praise the Lord!".

The atheist yells back, "There is no God".

I Would Have Enjoyed That A Lot More Had I'd Known I Was Going To Live Through It

Submitted by rwharper on Fri, 02/28/2014 - 11:18pm

Christian comedian, songwriter, and singer, Mark Lowry, tells of living through a tornado while on a houseboat and sings Home Where I Belong.

 

 

The Penny and the Dollar

Submitted by rwharper on Sat, 02/22/2014 - 11:56pm

The dollar, with his nose turned up scornfully, said to the penny: “Why, I am worth one hundred of you.”


“Yes,” said the penny, “but even at that I am a good deal better than you. I go to Sunday school and church, both. You don’t show up at either one.”

Knowledge vs Wisdom

Submitted by rwharper on Sat, 02/08/2014 - 12:44am

There is a difference between knowledge and wisdom.

Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit not a vegetable.

Wisdom is knowing not to include it in a fruit salad.

Teaching the 10 Commandments to 5 & 6 year olds

Submitted by rwharper on Fri, 09/27/2013 - 2:59am

A Sunday School teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.

After explaining the commandment to "honor thy father and thy mother," she asked "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"

Crossing the Red Sea

Submitted by rwharper on Sat, 09/07/2013 - 12:50am

When a small boy came home from Sunday School, his father asked him what he had learned that day.

"The teacher told us about the Children of Israel escaping from Egypt," the boy replied. "When they came to the Red Sea they pumped up their inflatable boats so they could get away from the Pharaoh's soldiers."

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